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I am alive!!! I try to not let the craziness get to me, but sometimes I fail.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Life, continued

As I was saying before being interrupted, I like my life here and how its going. Sometimes I wonder where I would be had I chosen to go back to the states oh so many years ago, but at the time I didn't have much choice, plus, my head wasn't in a place I could do such a thing. Now, I am glad I did not go. I am thankful for my life, my wife, our life together, my belief in God and all his blessings, the peace my faith has brought to my life, no longer a slave to drugs or alcohol, though I do have a "gym problem" according to my wife. It took me quite some time to get to this point, and I am happy and at peace with the world. I wish all of you reading these words a blessed holiday season and, whatever your own beliefs are, your lives are enriched and the new years brings you happiness. PEACE!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Travel, the joys of, that is.......

I cannot say I am really all that fond of traveling, the actual movement by car, plane, bus or train that is. I realize that I must do it to see the folks back home, but I certainly do not enjoy it, which is why we dont see them very often. I have been up for 3 hours now, still have another hour before I get on the train in Vilseck to start my journey, change trains in Nuernberg then to Frankfurt airport where I will (hopefully) meet my wife and get on the plane. I hate the trains here, its like they are never on time, it seems unless its YOU thats late, then they are gone the split second it hits the scheduled time. I have had some issues with the bahn here, I recall once I got on one of the ICE (fast-inter-city) trains, was early and thought, hey this is great, when suddenly the damn trains stops and starts backing up...verrrrryyy slooowwwwyy. I mean, we are talking 10 mph, tops..in the middle on nowhere, corn fields on both sides. Turns out the idiot driving the train missed a stop, got on the wrong track and had to go back to a point where he could get us on the right one...of course I missed my connecting train and had to get a taxi the last leg of my trip. Just one story, there are many. I try not to take the train normally. Anyway, I am getting outa here, invading america today to see what all the fuss is about, to return in 2 weeks. Have fun all!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Fun times

are not what is happening to me today. I am hurting, physically and emotionally. Not real bad, but things have been better...maybe when the so-called people in charge get their stuff together I will be better, but you cant rush these thing, it will only make things worse. I fell in the bathroom the otherday, bruised my ribs somewhat, which only added to the misery of my cold/mild flu; when I cough or blow my nose it hurts. Plus, I cant even get in a good workout for at least another day or 2, so I recon I will just have to be the good husband and make dinner tonight, something tasty and healthy. The best thing about being sick is knowing I am getting better. I did pick up a nice bargain from the thrift shop today, a hood for work, only $3.00. New, too, probably retails for at least $40. I love a bargain. Sue wont like it, though it screams AMERICAN!!! Like I care, we live in Graf, the closest thing to little america on this side of the border. We are the majority here, besides its for work..... I look forward to a pain-free day.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A new wind is blowin

and I dont like the way it feels. Depression? Recession? Obsession? Are we that gullible that we, as a collective body of tax payers, are told we need to bail out out lousy investment system in order that life, at least economic life can go on? 700 Billion dollars?! Thank god we did not listen to Bush's plan to scrap social security and let us all dump our money into the stock market so we could manage it ourselves. When are people going to realize George Bush has no clue? Its REALLY windy outside, but dont worry, the government will come and resue you, unless you live in the U.S. and dont really matter because you are poor or black, or both! I mean, we HAVE to save the rich folks, the poor ones were already poor, so who gives a shit? Sometimes I cant think about the news, all I want to do is go workout and sweat....makes me feel good.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bailout the wallstreet bigwigs! What a great idea, George, thanks for the fantastic bang just before you leave office; and here I thought nothing else could go wrong. Yes, throwing 700 BILLION dollars we dont have to make sure our investment firms are viable, and naturally those poor CEO's and execs need to keep up their house and car payments, no matter how overpaid they are....but yeah its a wonderful idea to just throw a ton of money at em, I am absolutely, positively certain that not one dime will be wasted. Its going to be a very interesting next few months, I truly wonder if I should be concerned about my paycheck, since its basically a government job that I have. I am thinking that perhaps there might be a better way.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

That good feeling

Today I felt REALLY good, got in an awesome workout this morning, did all that I wanted to without rushing or watching the clock which is always annoying when you are at the gym, and afterwards enjoyed a nice sauna. I love it when I have it to myself, I can throw some water on with some aufguss mix, right now I have some orange-honey mix that smells really good and opens up the pores for a nice sweat. Then I got to walk the dog around the track and talked to an old friend, she has lost some weight since the last time I saw her. They all have, really...I have been able to go to the gym mornings now again these past 2 weeks due to my work schedule being changed(I love going in early rather than later, after work) and now I see some of the same people I used to see, but in the past 4 months most of them look so buff! You can really see the difference in some of them, its like WOW!!! But next week we go back to our normal hours, so that sucks. One thing I am so proud of my friend, she lost weight by sticking with it and not with b.s. drugs that are unhealthy and dont last. The reason I call her my friend and she is because I DONT EVEN KNOW HER NAME!!! Like so many other people in this community, I see them all the time, and when I worked at the p.x. (store) saw them daily, but many of them I never got to know their names. Funny how this place is so different from Garmisch, which was such a small community, you knew people a little too well sometimes, I think. I hope I feel as good as this tomorrow, but I dont think so, I probably should let my muscles rest a day.....still, I enjoy this day, and think of all the loved ones I knew that has left and cannot enjoy life here on earth any longer, I wonder if they know I am thinking of them? TSCHUSS!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008


The picture above was taken (by me) while we were hiking up those mountains. We had really nice hike up, 2 days, stayed in a hutte, sort of a hikers inn, very rustic and no-frills, 3 bathrooms and 2 showers for about, I would guess 50 or so hikers to share, so you got to know your hiking friends well. The hike was challenging, steep in many places, but very enjoyable and very memorable. I hope we can do it again, though it is not always a guarantee of good weather, and it can make the hike less plesant. We had a party of 7 going up, and just after we reached the summit the weather turned sour, started hailing then raining very hard, but we made it to the top and we able to catch the train down and miss the worst of it. So, anyway....have a happy weekend all you happy hikers!!!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Politics and packaging

Watching the Palin speech today I was almost inspired to believe what she was saying had some truth, some true meaning. She sounded like she was being truthful. Ans she has such a nice smile, she is a mom and a Governor of a state. So smart. So neat. She reminds me of a childhood friends mom whom we like to go over and just talk to because she was so cool and so easy to talk to; just sexy enough to want to be around without showing cleavage or being overtly grown. She even sounded reasonable when she talked about the issues, her views of, I knew were completely opposite of my own. And yet she made them sound so clear and right, like, yeah, thats it. But, the truth is, she is really just window dressing. Like a shiny, new bright paint job on an old beat up car that smokes and has bad brakes. Same old crap, different messenger. A younger version of Bush-Cheney without the sinister looks. No new ideas, nothing needs to be changed. And yet because these words came from an attractive younger woman the words and ideas seem to have almost different meaning, fresh ideas, even. I wonder how long this darling will last, or if she will get a free ride all the way to the white house.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Time for a break.

Work has been sooooo busy, which is to say I dont have as much time to blog as I normally do; plus I have to work on Monday, a holiday. AND I do not get extra pay I don't understand how they can get away with it. Oh well, I am just happy to have a decent job right now, have to find a way to move up around here. I will do it, too. Looks like the road for me tomorrow, down to Garmisch for a couple of days worth of rest, anyhow. No vacation this year though, the price I pay for switching jobs. I dislike the driving, though. I dont know how truckers do it, I would fall asleep for sure. Lets hope for the best. Good weekend and peace to all!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


WHY??? Is it because we are unable to settle our differences any other way? You have something we want, do something we find unacceptable, say you will do things we dont care for, look, act or are funny, are a threat to us, our way of life or our friends....then we reserve the right to blow you and all like you to kingdom come! And your children. Although, since we have "smart bombs" it surely would be an accident. Sorry about that. One day, perhaps we will elect leaders who are smart enough to figure out ways other than military to resolve our differences. I wish that we could all just get along. Peace is not easy, but war is worse, I think.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday again

DAMN. Weekend went by fast, too fast, really. And it looks like we might be working this next weekend, holiday or not. Wait, I thought I took this job because I didnt have to work weekends.. there go our Garmisch plans. I guess I should be happy, its more money. Just never seems to be enough. Money is one thing, life is another. We shall see. Well, I went and did it again, I volunteered for something, this time something called AWANA, which is some sort of bible-study group that meets every sunday afternoon for kids 3-12 to learn about the bible and God in a fun, child friendly type of atmosphere. Which means I will come face to face and have to deal with LITTLE KIDS!!! Other peoples kids, too. Havent had to do that in quite some time, but I signed up, so I will do my best. I am sure it wont be that bad, just have to try and be a good guy and a good example to the kids, I can do that I recon. Not much else going on at work or home, got in some good gym time this weekend, enough to keep those pounds off. My new job doesnt involve as much walking, which is what helped at keeping myself fit. Plus there was the social aspect of the job, meeting people, and so on which was satisfying. Not here. I gotta look for the good folks here, too many nuts to deal with right now. Dinner will be good tonight, I am making something delisch.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Good day

Today started out a little sour, someone (I wont mention WHO) is not a morning person! Good coffee normally helps, but not today. Things got better, though, dexter, my faithful dog is always happy in the morning, and by the time I left for work things were good. And, I volunteered for something at work that I didnt have to do, but it always makes me feel better when I can do different stuff to help other people out. I have been volunteering a lot lately, which makes me feel GOOD!! I highly recommend it. Cooked hamburgers and helped clean up after the fest, church stuff, and sunday with some kids! I am a little nervous about the kids thing, sometimes they different. Plus, this weekend is looking like it might be a good one. I like socializing with people, usually we keep to ourselves, which is alright, but I think we need to get out more and we will. Least thats the plan. One thing about writing this blog, it will get me writing, which may mean that my creative writing skills will improve, hopefully. Plus, I do believe I will be taking a class, something I have not done in quite a long time. Nothing beats feeling young by doing something you did when you were younger, I just hope I can do it well. Time is on my side. The only concern I have today is that I have not heard from my sisters in Florida about how they survived the recent storms that went through there. Power could be a problem. I pray everyday now, so it helps. I hope I can make people smile today! Spread the good feelings I have, know what I mean??? :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Gosh, my day is dragging by. I get up here from my desk and go into the warehouse and just start to straighten up the place just to do SOMETHING. If I sit here all day my butts going to get wider. I have to remind my self to be thankful for what I have, but its not what I want...I want a job with some meaning, something I do that helps people, or somehow or other give me a bit more personal satisfaction. I need to change my routine somehow. Gotta work on that one. Seems like way too much of my life revolves around the dog and his potty time. I am a cat person! How did I ever get myself into this situation? Marriage is an endless series of give and take, of putting aside what I want for what we want (or what SHE wants, I should say). What am I making for dinner tonight? Vegetable something, with rice, I think would be nice. All these things are keeping my head on straight, not letting me think of bad things today. Boredom does have its good points, I suppose.

Monday, August 18, 2008


I have a toothache. Great. Didnt get much done this weekend, which is good, because it means I didnt do anything except relax, which is what the weekend is supposed to be about anyway,but still, doing nothing feels bad. I did make lasagna, came out pretty good, though its a mess to clean up, but the pain from the tooth made it hard to enjoy it. Then today I went to my German dentist...they dont believe in giving out painkillers unless you are like crying or rolling around on the ground, writhing in agony. Sucks to be me today. I did make an appointment for getting a wisdom tooth pulled and another filling done. I am pretty much a happy guy, but pain makes me impatient and unable to think normally, which is to say I dont suppress my thoughts, which are not always nice. Some people dont do this at all, I wonder are they in constant pain? Oh well, just one of those thoughts. I often wonder why people do the things they do, perhaps toothaches are part of the problem. Painkillers are the answer to the worlds problems. Tommorrow will be better.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A workout

Today, I will be able to go to the gym and get a workout in, which I have not been able to do since Saturday, which may not seem so long ago, but for me it is and my body is SCREAMING for a good sweat! The feeling I have after a good hard workout is probably one of the top 5 of my favorite things....the others being the love I get from my wife, friends who like me for ME, giving of myself for a good cause, the love of my dog, and of course God. I hope the people at the gym dont get the wrong idea when I am there, most of the time I think I look like I am pissed, when I am just concentrating, listening to my music, working out on the elipticle machine. I do get annoyed when people are on MY machine. I think I was looking at yahoo the other day, an article about gym etiquette, and I think I am o.k.; I am not a loud talker, poser (that would be ridiculous) talk on the cell phone or grunt. I do clean up after myself (I tend to sweat a lot). I wish my knees were better, I used to love to run daily, but they ache, so I gave it up. Maybe I will try again, I dont know. I just feel so happy that I can have some time for me today!!!! YOU should take some time for you, also.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

petra michelle: POETRY IS FOR SUNDAY: The Journey

petra michelle: POETRY IS FOR SUNDAY: The Journey


I dont like to complain, normally, but its better to get things off ones chest now and again. Plus, my wife says I dont know the REAL her...the person she is; well, how in the hell am I supposed to know the real "her" if she never shares? So, I am sharing...not complaining. Things that tick me off: bad drivers, and you know who you are, so I dont need to elaborate much on this. Just follow the rules DO the speed limit try not to sight-see when driving stay the hell off the phone, and turn that damn rap "music" down, we dont all need to know 'bout yer bitches or whatever. And stop trying to get dates while going down the road; some girl is not going to jump into your car just because you are annoying. PLEASE! Cops. And dont give me this HERO stuff.... just like the troops.... you signed up for the job, you do the job. If you do your job, it doesnt make you a hero, I am sorry. Another thing: stupid rules....seems that one person does something and up comes a stupid rule! How annoying. Lazy people piss me off too. Not sick people, mind you, but the healthy ones who are just born lazy...I have a solution: caffiene!!! Try it, it works!!! Trust me, a cup of coffee or a red bull does wonders for that "down" feeling. Tardiness, though I am guilty of this, too, but I do try my best; of course, if I werent behind so many bad drivers, I probably would not be late! I think thats enough for now...just to balance it out, some of the things I love: my wife, my dog, my friends, people in general, and myself. The world is a truly wonderful place because you, the reader is in it....God bless you.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


Gotta work, if you can call it that, be present just in case is more the story. A day to ask god for forgiveness and thanks for what I have. I wish I could be with friends today, but its not possible, so plan for another time. Can catch some olympic action, though. I have always loved watching some of the events, but today there seems to be some indifference in the participants. I think I would be out of my mind, nuts just being able to participate against all the best from all over the world. I hope that politics doesnt spoil the spirit of the games. Bush is an idiot, by the way. Just have to get that out there in case I need a break, a vacation, a weekend for myself, by myself. Problem is, I dont particularly enjoying being alone. I guess I have to like myself a bit more, have to work on that. Yes, I think I will work on that for the rest of today.

Saturday, August 9, 2008


One of my favorite songs of all time was "Come Saturday Morning" from a movie, I believe the title was The Sterile Cockoo, staring Liza Minnelli, a sad tragic love story about a girl who clearly craves affection but considers normal people as "weirdos", and her boyfriend who is destined to leave her...they go to separate schools and meet every Saturday, making it her day to live for...I dont know why I thought of it, I havent thought about it for years.....just one of my favorite movies. I gotta work today, not much going on, though, just have to be herein case someone needs something. I am trying to enjoy my new job, its getting better...this weekend might be nice, I am hoping, even though it started off a bit rough, I am in the dog house again, trying to do something nice for someone, getting in trouble for it. I wish I could just go into the mountains and be alone sometimes....away from my problems, judgmental people, jealously, hate, drunkenness, unhappines, depression, and all of the other woes of the world. Maybe in a couple of weeks from now. Then I can escape!

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Its a beautiful day today. I love the sunshine (who doesnt) as long as its not too doggone hot, which it never is around here. I always imagine this is the kind of summers they get in Minnesota, or perhaps Canada. All was well, I rode my bike in and then home, until some official guy yells out the window to me that I need a "reflective belt". Please, give me a break. A while ago they made it mandatory we wear helmets (as if we were prone to falling down), now we have to wear reflective gear, like we are invisible or something. These army people are just plain stupid. I cant wait to see what comes next. A cushy vest? Knee pads? I guess if I were a typical american over here who rarely rode a bike to work, for fun, or since I was a teenager, then I suppose these silly rules would make perfect sense. But I am not a typical american, and they dont make any sense. Its just like the fences, ponds guards and barricades, they dont make us safer, just late for work.....MORONS!!! I think I will write an ice complaint. At least I can vent a little. I was going to go to the swimmbad, I wonder if I must wear a lifejacket?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I hate this time of the year here in Germany. It seems like it starts to turn fall way too fast over here, less and less daylight and sunshine. When I was a kid back in Ohio, I didnt notice it as much, I guess it was because August was the hottest month and I was working some sort of job since I can remember. The best times were at the public pool, even though I did get kicked out for snapping my towel at some kid once or twice. Probably the most trouble I ever got into as a kid...those were the days. Now august is depressing for me, reminding me of sad times, of death, and that winter is on its way...but, since I have my cross-country skis and am pretty good at it, there is a silver lining to this; now if I can just find the time to get out there...and some nice snow. Today may be a good day after all.....

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Looks like my new job isnt as wonderful as my wife seems to think....looks like I will be working this weekend, though no one has bothered to mention it to me yet, or what hours, and so on. I hate being kept in the dark. Not that we had plans, or anything, but still....I did manage to get to the gym yesterday, and probably today, which is always a good feeling,now if I can just manange NOT to eat a bunch of rubbish, food full of fat and sodium. God give me strength...thanks.

Monday, August 4, 2008


I feel good today, which may or may not be a bad thing....sometimes when I feel too good something bad happens, so I almost wish I didnt. Part of it was that this past weekend, I went to the volksfest here and had nothing to drink, which is certainly very different from the past. I have not had a drink in many months, I dont even want to count when, as I dont want to think about it. I am very proud of myself, even if I cant talk about it. I was working it, too, voluntarily, which was hard as I was flippin burgers and felt like I was going to die from the smoke from the grill. But, it was for a good cause and I got to hang with some nice folks. Work is slow and boring, I need something more challenging soon, or I will goes crazy!!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008